The recent fires in Los Angeles have left many families grappling with uncertainty and fear. The stress of evacuation, the hyper-vigilant attention to evacuation lines, and seeing communities burn down are harrowing and scary. For children, these events can also feel incredibly overwhelming as they process the visible damage, disruptions, and the emotions of those around them. As parents, it’s essential to provide a sense of safety while helping kids understand and navigate their feelings. Here are some suggestions on how you can talk to your children about the fires, tailored by age group, along with signs to watch for and resources to support them.
How to Talk About the Fires by Age
Young Children (Ages 4-8)
Keep it Simple and Reassuring: Young children need straightforward explanations that don’t overwhelm them with details. Focus on safety and the helpers in the community.
What to Say:
“There’s a big fire in some parts of the city, but we’re safe where we are. Firefighters are working hard to put it out and keep everyone safe. We have a plan to stay safe too.”
How to Reassure Them:
Show them that their home is secure.
Limit exposure to news or images of the fires.
Middle Schoolers (Ages 9-13)
Encourage Questions and Open Dialogue: This age group may have more awareness of the situation from school or social media and might want to discuss it.
What to Say:
“Fires like this can happen during dry weather. It’s normal to feel worried, but remember, we have plans to stay safe. Do you have any questions about what’s happening?”
How to Engage Them:
Discuss the science of wildfires and fire prevention.
Encourage them to express their feelings through writing, drawing, or conversation.
Teens and Older (Ages 14+)
Discuss with Honesty and Empowerment: Teens often crave deeper understanding and may feel a mix of fear, anger, or a desire to help.
What to Say:
“These fires are serious, and it’s okay to feel upset or even angry about what’s happening. How are you feeling about it? Let’s talk about ways to support others or stay informed.”
How to Empower Them:
Suggest they join a local fundraiser or volunteer effort if safe and appropriate.
Discuss ways to reduce fire risks in the future, like climate action.
Signs Your Child Might Be Struggling
Kids process stress differently, and some may internalize their worries. Watch for these signs:
Young Children:
Clinginess or fear of separation.
Nightmares or trouble sleeping.
Regressive behavior (e.g., bedwetting, thumb-sucking).
Middle Schoolers:
Increased irritability or mood swings.
Loss of interest in activities they usually enjoy.
Physical complaints like headaches or stomachaches.
Teens and Older:
Withdrawal from family or friends.
Overconsumption of news or doomscrolling.
Increased anxiety about the future.
If you notice these behaviors persisting, it may be a sign that your child needs additional support.
How to Support Your Child During and After the Fires
If you've been evacuated, create a temporary sense of “Home."
Let them choose bedding or small items for the new space.
Incorporate family routines like reading bedtime stories or having meals together.
Stick to Routine: Maintaining structure helps kids feel secure.
Limit News Exposure: Shield younger kids from graphic images and ensure older kids don’t consume constant news updates.
Model Calm Behavior: Kids take emotional cues from you. Show them how to handle stress calmly and problem-solve.
Provide Opportunities to Express Feelings: Let them share their feelings without judgment.
Offer Comfort: Spend quality time together to reassure them they’re safe and loved.
Resources for Parents and Kids
Emergency Preparedness for Families:
Ready.gov: Tips for creating family emergency plans.
Mental Health Support:
SAMHSA’s Disaster Distress Helpline: Call or text 1-800-985-5990 for free crisis counseling.
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network: NCTSN.org: Resources for talking to children about disasters.
Community Support and Volunteering:
California Community Foundation Wildfire Relief Fund: Helps families impacted by fires.
VolunteerMatch: VolunteerMatch.org: Find opportunities to help fire victims.
Books to Help Kids Process Emotions:
A Terrible Thing Happened by Margaret M. Holmes (for young children).
What to Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner (for middle schoolers).
Facing Feelings: How to Handle Worry, Sadness, and Anger by Tracy Bryan (for teens).
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